Recently I went to the park with a dear friend only to instantly realize that my seven year old princess had on her best "bully" out and was trying it on for size. Of course the main focus of her intentions went directly to my kind hearted, although imperfect in his own right, newly five, bright and twinkly knight. (He knows he is a king, but would rather be called a knight, I'm guessing he grasps more job description details than I can imagine.)
Back to the park, my friend knows my heart and was quick to draw Esther up when she acted out of my sight. I came to a not so fun realization, actually a few:
1. I'm not perfect (Gasp) 2. My extremely intelligent girl requires me to put my best big girl panties on and be just as powerful as she is every day.
Now this is definitely a to be continued story as my writing muse appears to be nocturnal, but I am slowly learning how to enforce boundaries, again. My excuses for not enforcing well simply are not good enough. On occasion, (Love and logic parents beware) I now feel I can lovingly use a tool in my parenting toolbox called: a swat.
Now at the park, I had such good reasons (super good) about why my seven year old is beyond that kind of discipline. But as I thought over my friends wisdom, I realized something. My children are not at all dumb. They look at me and somehow gauge my extreme sensitivity to their hearts and to keeping them whole. Tey then use this keen vision to get away with things. (Not horrible things, but making farting noises when ever a grownup speaks can be considered rude in some circles) I had to admit, in these past few months, I have allowed them to get out of hand. they are once again testing boundaries with the thought, "What would happen if I ....?"
"The park" was a turning point for me. When we got home we had this amazing confrontation. My children knew they could argue with me, knew they could find something to convince me in another direction than what I had just said.
It's not because they are bad, and honestly, I love the conversations. But conversations cannot turn into blatant brushing off of any authority. Again, my powerful kids looked me square in the face but I believe that they are beginning to see someone who will not only love them well, but will also help guide them. Even when it requires painful pruning.
Now before I seem to give consent to major corporeal punishment, I must interject that my true conviction is that I cannot control, my children. I can only guide them. There are many ways to be a guide. The very mature can follow an extremely rudimentary road map, but we all have days when we are not so mature and we need consequences to follow directions. Then when we choose to ignore consequences there is another option. Yay and hoorah for options!
Today was a very good day! Esther and I have been connecting at an even deeper level. Simeon is a love. Asher is the cause of major rioting in the streets whenever he bats an eye. Life is good. And good night!
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